I am a Wife of a man paying permanent spousal maintenance. And the courts look at my income, etc when considering requests for modifications in spousal maintenance.
My husband’s ex did not cohabitat (that we ever knew of) or remarry. However, she has continually vowed that her goal was to make life hell for the rest of his life.
This is some of our story:
My husband was married to his ex for 17 years and they had one child. His ex stayed at home after having their child. When they got divorced he didn’t want to create any issues so ended up with permanent spousal maintenance in the amount of $1250 per mo and 17% (a % for each year of their marriage) of any bonus he would receive, 50% of his 401K and pension, life insurance policy made out to her and all this in addition to child support in the amount of $1250 per mo. She had also asked for additional monies to go to school to be a radiologist which he gave her. She then took their child and moved back to her hometown in the same state 5 hours away. She never did use the additional money to go to school. Instead she used it for a down-payment on a house and got a job in one of the factories in town.
My husband and I have been married over 22 years ago and have one child together. I knew of his child and alimony obligations when we got married. And although I don’t agree with permanent spousal maintenance, I just looked at it as another bill. We both had fulltime jobs.
A few years ago my husband, was laid off of his job of 35+ years. He decided at that time to retire early at 63. Because of this he went back to court to try to get either a reduction in spousal maintenance or an end date. We hired an Attorney who had some history with this type of case and the ex hired an expensive Attorney from a firm in downtown Mpls. Everything provided in our deposition included both of our finances. When we were provided the ex’s deposition, we found that she had no debt. Her house is paid off and she buys a new car every few years with cash and more. Two things that she asked for during this were:
1.her attorneys fees paid for by us
2. My husband’s severance package looked at as a bonus so she could collect 17% of it.
Thank goodness the judge denied both of the ex’s requests. During the meetings and through the decision period my husband and attorney felt pretty positive about things based on the judges questions asked and comments made. But 40+ days later when it came to decision time the Judge denied the request for a reduction in spousal maintenance and/or an end date. It was as if she had not remembered, reviewed or even documented any of the conversations.
At the time our attorney asked if we were willing to go back to court to fight against the use my income when considering the decision. We felt so very defeated and let down by the Judge and by the system in general plus feeling the pinch of dwindling funds we chose not to pursue at that time.
Today, my husband is 66, collecting social security, on Medicare and also working. I am 60 with health issues and still working fulltime especially for medical. I am just hoping to be around long enough to be able to retire and enjoy it with my husband and family. Our last child is attending college. We also have an awesome blended family of 5 kids (4 married) and 13 grandkids. In the next few years the ex will claim ½ of my husband’s social security which will be about the same as she already receives for spousal maintenance. At that time, we will probably try again for an end date to the spousal maintenance. We are selling our highest bill now. (our house) It would be so nice to have an END DATE on our 2nd highest bill.
Signed: 2nd Wife ready to be done with the ex